Show must go on
by forjoealways
Summary: The AU beginning of S4. Voight is missing, Erin is devastated. Antonio is getting in charge for the unit. Kim is back in the district. Meanwhile, Adam is trying to figure out his further moves and to sort out his priorities. Mostly a BURZEK fanfic.
1. CHAPTER 1 I'm here

**CHAPTER 1.** ** _"I'm here"_**

It was just a matter of time, when everybody in the unit calmed their asses down and got back to work. No doubts. Shit happens all the time, you just need to get used to it somehow and keep doing your job at your best. However, the main question was still hovering in the air. Was there any work left for the intelligence or they better packing their stuff now, while waiting for the distribution from upstairs?

None of them have seen Voight for a couple of days after the majority of the unit stayed at the suspect's house empty-handed, never had a chance to know, what actually happened that night. They got silent; however, each of them had a lot of questions and a fair desire to get some answers.

Dawson walked out of the waiting room right after the commander with his hands on the belt, glancing at Olinsky, who was doing some paperwork at Platt's desk. Antonio nodded to him shortly and went up the stairs right to the intelligence room without saying a word.

"Detective Halstead," said Platt in her branded strict manner, while Jay was walking through the department doors. "I need you autograph," Halstead came to Platt's desk immediately without a hesitation, though he seemed a little bit blurry and absent, more than ever before. He automatically signed where it was required, not even looking at papers, and hastily withdrew upstairs.

"Hard times, huh?" Trudy tried to thin out the atmosphere in her own sarcastic way, despite the fact she was as anxious as the others, who were close to Voight, both personally and professionally.

Alvin looked at her with unconsciously raised eyebrows and sighed softly.

"Alvin," she bent towards Olinsky and continued with a quieter voice. "You know that I will always be on your side, no matter how far you guys went in the race for justice as long as it helps to save this goddamn city. But if you have something important to tell, you know, do not be shy. Spread it out. Otherwise, it can be too late," she finished with a strong hint, putting glasses back on her nose and turned back to the computer.

Alvin didn't want to hear it twice and Platt wasn't going to preach him, so they finished before a conversation even started and understood each other mutually.

Ruzek walked down the hall, lowering his head, concentrated on his own thoughts. He was concerned about everything that happened a few days ago. Although Adam has been always considering himself as a hotheaded and reckless cop, and trying his best to operate on a high-level in this department to prove his trustworthiness and professionalism, he still hasn't got used to Voight's style of solving problems.

Not to mention that both sergeant and Lindsay were ready to rip him on British flag after he stepped out with an obvious fact about Justin's recent not so legal deeds.

Straightness and tactlessness — have never ended well for Ruzek. Nevertheless, he was not going to change, not in this life, at least, not on this job, and if Voight planned to kick him out of the team, it was his right, which Adam was ready to face with a dignity.

With this strong will to meet his destiny, he looked up at Olinsky, when the old man hollered him, but immediately tried to act casually.

"Adam, come here," started Alvin in his fatherly tone. "Are you all right?"

Adam nodded actively and shrugged his shoulders.

"Morning, Sarge," Ruzek welcomed Platt on a habit, but she gave him nothing, but a silent nod. "So, he caught the guy, right?" he continued, addressing to Olinsky, who was not ready to talk about anything related to the case.

"Come on, clock's ticking," he concluded and patted Ruzek on the back, as he was walking away towards the stairs.

"Okay, guys. That's been hell of a ride, but I have something for you to recover," the first thing Antonio said, when he was exiting Voight's office with a folder in his hand. Atwater, Halstead and Ruzek glanced at each other with a bit of confusion, but preferred to keep it shut and let Antonio go on.

"Seems like we have another pyro fanatic here. Tried to burn down the mall in Loop, then two buildings in business center. Both objects belong to Ronald Tempter, major businessman in the Midwest..."

Lindsay entered the room quietly and went straight to her desk, then sat down on a chair and just stayed their silent for the rest of Antonio's speech and giving orders to the team.

"Heard something new?" he asked finally, when everyone else left their seats.

Erin shook her head barely noticeable and pursed her lips, crossing hands on the chest.

"I just can't... Cope with it," her voice started shaking and becoming quieter, she almost whispered.

"We all know him, but..."

"I saw what I saw, Antonio!" Erin can't help but yelled to his face, blinking faster and trying not to tear up again.

"Then where the hell is he now? Escaping to Mexico?" Antonio yelled back with irritation not expecting her to answer that. They looked at each other intensely until Halstead came and put his palm on Erin's shoulder to comfort her.

"Whether you like it or not, but show must go on. Don't you mind?" Dawson grabbed the coat and went down quickstep to join the rest of the team.

Halstead sat down in front of Erin and squeezed her cold hands in his, trying to look her right in the eye.

"He knows what he's doing. You have to believe in righteous things."

"I don't think I have something to believe in anymore."

Erin's face skewed in a grimace of pain, which she was trying to hold back all this time, but suddenly ran out of strength to pull herself together. A lonely teardrop ran down her face, but he squeezed Jay's hand even harder, giving him a thankful gesture in return of all shown support.

"I'm here," he whispered with a pause and they froze just like that for a while.


	2. CHAPTER 2 Never mind

**CHAPTER 2.** ** _"Nevermind"_**

"So, you're the boss now?" asked Gabriella, when Antonio came by for a quick dinner with his younger sister. It seemed like they haven't seen each other for centuries, but it was just a feeling that Justin's death gave him. At the end of the day family is everyone's number one priority.

"Technically. Until they'll figure out what to do with Voight. But hey, I've had enough of this shit, let's talk about anything else," he took a few sips of wine.

"What to do? Lock him up forever, for Christ's sake!"

"You wouldn't consider that option, Gabi, washing your kid's blood from your hands," Antonio said silently and gravely, giving her sister a heavy look.

"How can you even…" Gabriella wasn't pleased with brother's attitude, but stopped before she's gone mad. "You know, power or grief doesn't give you the right to play God," she continued after all and stood up to wash the dishes.

"All I know, sis, that it's none of my fucking business, I have to get my job done, and it has nothing to do with Hank. Fortunately or not."

They were silent for a while, but eventually Gabi switched the topic, and they ended up talking about their ordinary family problems, which now, compared to the past few days, sounded like a blessing.

* * *

The next evening after a long day of spending in the fields, hunting the pyro, Alvin asked Ruzek to stay in the unit to help him with the report.

"Before you hit Molly's, make sure everything is done perfectly," he handed a folder to Adam.

"You know, that there are other places besides Molly's, right?" Adam answered with a tiny smile.

"Tell it yourself," not looking at a youngster, Alvin left the building through the parade door.

"Have a good time, you old man!" Ruzek raised his voice and shouted it to Alvin's distancing back with a piece of irony.

"Ruzek, if you going to kill me with your annoying face, please, make it faster, I have plans with my husband," Platt suddenly appeared in front of him, as always flawless in her hatred for humanity. But before he could answer anything, she was already looking behind him, ready to lecture somebody else.

"Burgess, finally. How was the day on the parking lot?" Sergeant started sarcastically, but Kim looked her straight in the eye and gave a little smile.

"Best day of my life."

Since her suspension on the ground of shooting at civil (despite the fact she was justified), she was more than happy to get any job in this district again. She just tried to perform excellently without any questions.

"Good, patrolman. Hope you enjoyed your new partner. Not that yummy as the previous one, but at least it's a man, yeah?" Platt depict a fake excitement on her face and immediately switched it back to the seriousness. Kim didn't find it funny, not even close, so she just smiled once again, patiently restraining herself from a tantrum.

All this time Adam was standing right next to her and Platt, accidentally witnessing Platt's comedy show and Kim's embarrassment. He was kind of feeling weird too, so he hurried to leave as invisibly as possible. He turned left, but Kim already crushed into his chest, completely forgetting to look around.

"I am…" She mumbled.

"I am sorry," he replied at the same time and touched her shoulders to make sure she's alright. As always. Silly habit.

Kim wanted to say something else, he could tell that by her trembled lip, but she only nodded in confusion and went away hastily. Before she disappeared around the corner, Adam stopped to look at her for the last time with a huge hole in his chest.

Tonight he planned to visit that new fashionable place in the center of Chicago with Atwater, who partly organized the whole event, but what was more important — to meet a girl, Kevin's old friend. He still wasn't sure about this arrangement, though best friend insisted. But this paperwork he received from Olinsky and Burgess face out of nowhere finally convinced him it was a bad idea right from the start.

He cancelled the meeting with a simple text and got back to business in the evidence room.

Routine work was always a nightmare for Ruzek, that's why he spent at least a couple of hours trying to finish the report, constantly losing focus.

The last time he look down at papers, someone entered the room and obviously distracted him again. Adam glanced at a person frowningly, noticing only the badge on the belt.

"Oh. I thought, it's empty here. Never mind," Kim's voice paralyzed him and he looked up right away, searching for her shifty eyes.

"Kim," Adam pronounced her name softly, like every time was the first time, and waited for her to look at him back.

She stayed still for a second and then slowly turned around.

"Yes," she replied as calm as she could, trying to stop running her eyes over the room.

"You know, we can't play hide and seek all the time. It's getting pointless," Ruzek raised his eyebrows slightly. He didn't know if he wanted to have a talk, cause apparently they haven't got a chance since the court day, but he surely wanted to shake the awkwardness off. Fair or not, it got to an unbearable point.

"I'm not… hiding from you. You've got a lot of work to do, I don't want to disturb," Kim didn't quite believe in her own words, though she tried to sound convincible. "Besides, you guys having hard times up there, you know…"

Adam didn't understand what his relationship with Kim had to do with Voight's son right now, however, since everybody started to faking stuff and not noticing anything, he bought it.

"Right," Adam replied with a dry chuckle and widened his eyes. She nodded briefly and waited another second to leave, but he stopped her in the doors again with a casually thrown phrase. "So, catch up later, yeah?" the smirk shown on his face, and he was not sure, if it was the right move. Kim nodded again hesitantly, but sort of agreed for what it's worth.

He guessed all of this would never gone: the awkwardness, the stupid childish offense, which he has been trying to rid off every day of his life. But people get used to stuff like this and he certainly will too. He just need some extra time.

Ruzek glanced at his phone and noticed a notification: a message from Atwater. He sent nothing but a million of question marks and a couple of unamused emojis. After a long thought, Adam finally texted him back.

"Never mind. What time?"


	3. CHAPTER 3 Whatever you

**A/N:** _The story is totally unexpected, and mostly I have no idea, what I'm doing, but in this chapter I really wanted to focus on Adam and Kim, as I planned right from the start. So it will be more likely developing as a Burzek fic further on. I hope you'll enjoy this one._

 **CHAPTER 3. " _Whatever you're doing, you're doing it right"_**

Eventually Adam finished his work twenty minutes later after he sent that text to Atwater and headed directly to the exit doors. Passing by Platt's desk for the last time for today, he raised his head and bumped into Lindsay, who was also making her way out of the district.

"Hey..." Adam said a little bit awkwardly, not knowing how she would react to him after all. He adequately knew he hasn't done anything wrong, it was just her grief and confusion she was feeling through all these last days, but he prepared himself for a tantrum just in case.  
Surprisingly to him, Erin responded with an only nod. Her eyes looked tremendously tired and her whole face painted grey and moody. She clearly didn't want to talk, even say a word.  
"Listen, Erin." Adam stopped her on her way to her car and then slightly touched her elbow. "I am really sorry... For you loss. I just want you to know that."  
Erin nodded her head positively again and lowered her head, exhaling a heavy breath.  
"You know, we are still a family. This district, these guys, including me, we are here for you. And if I did something wrong... Man, it was totally not my intentions, I mean..." Adam kept figuring out, what he was trying to say without causing any trouble, though he already said too much. Luckily, Erin interrupted him there.  
"Ruzek, it's... It's fine. Don't eat yourself up for this."  
He finally felt somewhat relieved in the deepest recesses of his heart, but still couldn't shake the compassion look from his face to her sorrow. And it wasn't just a look he couldn't get rid of — his whole state wasn't all that sunshine and roses either. One way or another, Erin is still his friend, and everybody knows how compassionate Adam can be for his people.  
After a small silent pause, he decided to switch the topic, so maybe Lindsay would feel a little bit better.  
"You know what? I'm going to some party, no big deal, but it's a good place near Downtown, and Atwater is already there with a free access to the bar." He pulled a little smile, attempting to peek into her eyes, while she was looking down. "We could grab a couple of drinks... I promise, I won't even talk." Ruzek rested his palm on her shoulder, but Lindsay obviously wasn't ready for any kind of going out with anybody, so she responded with just a silent "no" in her glance and a brief smile.  
"Thank you."  
She opened her car, sat inside and hastily left the precinct.  
Adam took a deep breath, following Erin's car until it disappeared over the horizon, and then drove himself away right to the bar.

* * *

She was dark blonde, not very tall with a healthy sporty body of a dancer.  
"...and I'm not, like, strip dancing, by the way. It's mostly contemporary and we have a really great team now, so that's why we decided to start our small tour through the Midwest. But we stayed for almost a week in Chicago, because, oh boy!.."  
Adam wasn't paying any attention for the last several minutes while this blonde girl was constantly talking. At some point, he decided, that she was just way too communicative and tended to fill an empty space with words, whenever it's necessary or not, so she wasn't really looking for a conversation, she was just happy to have free ears.  
"Who we?" Adam asked distractedly.  
"We... My dance team. Are you following?" The girl smiled and tried to stay cool, despite the fact she wasn't really pleased, that he wasn't interested in her story. She didn't know the main thing — he wasn't interested in her at all.  
Atwater suddenly showed up between these two and practically saved Ruzek.  
"Is he treating you nicely, Scarlett?" Kevin said with a grin on his face and Adam laughed nervously in respond.  
Scarlett, that was her name. She was a professional choreographer, who met Atwater a few months ago at one of Chicago night clubs.  
"Nothing but a gentleman! But, hey, I think I bored him already." Scarlett laughed and glanced at Adam, trying to be nice and flirty.  
Well, she was dead right. That was first thought surfaced in his head, but he wasn't going to spread it out. Instead of this, he pointed all the attention to Atwater, who was already offering her another set of cocktails.  
"Oh, please! But don't think, that I'm an alcoholic. It's just a 'girls wanna have fun' thing, you know?" She shot another glance at Adam and leaned to him closer.  
"I'll help you out, man." He jumped at the first opportunity he got to run away from Scarlett, just for a while, and he wasn't even look sorry.  
"Hey, dude. What's wrong?" Kevin asked him, when they finally made it to the bar. "I thought everything was going smoothly."  
"Smoothly for what?" Adam ordered himself a shot of whiskey and leaned on the counter.  
"Don't say you don't need this, man!" Kevin snorted at his friend and then patted him on the back.  
"I need a lot of stuff, though it doesn't mean I should do everything to get it all." Adam knew he was just convincing and restraining himself but he thought it was only for good, leastwise, he felt like it. "Trying to use a noggin here, buddy." He continued, emptied the ordered shot and asked to repeat it immediately. "At least, alcohol is free!" Ruzek playfully winked at Atwater and cheered him before he drank another shot.  
"Are you coming on to me, man? Should I start worrying?"  
Adam laughed, tilting his head and pointed his index finger at Kevin.  
"You wish, my friend. You wish."  
Fortunately, Scarlett found herself a new company surprisingly quickly. When Adam came to her to apologize and to wish a good night, since he decided to live the party, she was enthusiastically talking to some other guys and twisted the strand of her dark-blonde hair in her fingers.  
"Okay." He said mostly to himself than to her and left their sides with an apologizing, but satisfied smile on his face.  
There was nothing to brag about, while he was still desperately in love with one woman, who has moved on in every way possible. However, he was definitely proud of himself. Desperately or not, Adam needed to be honest with himself in the first place. Perhaps, he was humiliated and still pissed at Kim, he couldn't let himself get tangled in some doubtful affair, which would apparently be only a one night stand. It wasn't the cure he was searching for anyway. Although he understood it couldn't last forever, since they won't get back together with Kim after all the mess, and somewhere in the future he will find someone else with a huge maybe mark, he couldn't imagine himself with another woman right now and he was still cherishing his little hope deep inside.  
With these thoughts, he walked down the street straight to his house. He was moving by foot because of the amount of drinking, but mostly because he wanted to refresh his brain.  
The last thing he remembered was a phone call that he missed, because he fell asleep the second his head touched a pillow.

* * *

It was close to 3 a.m., when Kim found herself awake in the middle of her stifling bedroom. Bad dreams have been hunting her since the night Sean was shot. All this time she had Roman by her side — just a rebound or not, she didn't care much — but when it came to the point, where she couldn't even close her eyes without a cringe, she faced the simplest fact, that never occurred to her before. Sean may be the greatest partner and a friend-cop she ever had, but he wasn't Adam, he will never be and he could never provide her with support she actually needed. A matter of fact, he could do it surely well, in his own perfect way, putting all his soul in it, but it would never be enough for Kim.

Actually, no one would be.

No one, but Adam.

She made a pact with herself, since Sean left the city, that she started focusing only on her career, not romantic relationships, whether it's Roman, or Ruzek, or some other guy she could meet. Kim decided to take a break from all drama, just to clear her head and her heart. And for the last several days she's been doing really great. She was reinstated in the patrol, she has just met a new partner, and her relationships with Platt went to the new level, though she was still teasing Burgess about her little flaws. But this night wasn't one of those days, it was definitely breaking out of her plan, which is why Kim wasn't able to fall asleep for three hours straight.

Words Adam said tonight at the district kept popping up in her head and running in circles, making more and more sense. She has been totally avoiding him since the day he found out about her and Roman, she wasn't ready to face him with this truth tet-a-tet, because then she would have to admit the fact, that everything came to an end between them. She wasn't sure. Of course, it was her, who cut Adam off and swam straightly into her partner's arms, but it didn't mean the feelings have gone forever. Fortunately or not, they were still there, mixing in her chest along with doubts and sanity, she has been building from the moment she left Adam in the locker room with a ring in his palm.

And now all she could think about was the righteousness of that decision. On one hand, she was certain. Ruzek showed himself enough and she didn't like, what she saw, not when she sort of planning to spend the rest of her life with the man. But on the other hand, there was always something special about Adam, something people call chemistry. The chemistry she wasn't able to deny: his eyes full of light, his open smile and childish chuckles, his gentle hands, which was always trying to protect her and giving her just the warmest hugs after a long day of work. Afterwards, he was still there, right beside her, when the world was trembling down beneath her feet.

Kim was laying and staring into the ceiling, her chest was overwhelmed with the specter of different emotions. She was breathing heavily, like an asthma patient, trying to put her thoughts in decent order and to realize, what she wanted at the end of the day.

The second she recalled his gentle gaze back then in the precinct, she jumped of her bed, put random clothes on and left her apartment in a big rush. Outside she caught a taxi and haltingly gave Adam's address to the taxi-driver. She was hoping he was at home, sleeping soundly and peacefully in his comfy bed, so she could wake him up and have a talk, otherwise it would be an absolute disaster and she wasn't ready for another disappointment.

Right before Kim got to his apartment, she decided it would be useful if she called him first, but the next thing she heard was a voicemail.

"Maybe it's a good sign." She suddenly uttered out loud, the taxi-driver turned the radio down and looked back at Kim in the mirror.

"M'am, you okay?" But Kim wasn't responding, she didn't even notice his question.

"Oh, I'm sorry, have you just said something? I'm such a mess right now."

The man showed his crooked but kind smile and kept driving.

"Whatever you're doing, you're doing it right."

Kim froze for a second and took his words as a wisdom, she actually liked the saying, so she calmed herself down a little bit and glanced at night streets through the window full of enthusiasm.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4. _"This is not a drill"_**

Jay knocking hard on Adam's door was the last thing Kim expected to see this night, the night that could probably change everything. She froze on her spot the second she saw Jay and hid behind the corner. However, guys were always pretty close, this time wasn't about Jay and Adam having fun, it seemed more like Detective Halstead calling his partner out for service.

"Ruzek, this is not a drill! If you keep ignoring me, I'll knock this door down!" Halstead already had his vest on and was fully armed, so Kim guessed they received an order in the case they had been working on past few days.

She was blessed Jay didn't notice her in the hall, so she didn't have to explain herself or to find one not awkward reason what she was doing in Adam's building at almost 4 in the morning. But everything went down when all of a sudden neighbor's dog started barking at Kim, while the owner led it to the elevator. This served her up on a plate the second later.

"Burgess?" Jay asked confusingly. "Is it you? Can you please dial Ruzek? He isn't answering any of us. Antonio wants us ASAP. And I really began to worry about this hell of a mess... " Halstead nodded at the door he had been trying to break through.

"I... Well, yes. Sure." At first she wanted to tell Jay that Adam wasn't answering her calls either, but that would be a little bit confusing, so she just dialed Adam one more time and waited for his voicemail again.

"What are you doing here by the way? It's too late. Not that it's my business..."

Jay raised his palms to show his respect in Kim's private life, but he couldn't not ask just in case there was a possibility of something going wrong. Without a doubt it was a huge surprise to see Kim near Ruzek's habitat since they barely interact for several months. Even for Jay. Everyone in the district somehow knew about this small soap opera and got used to it eventually.

Kim paused for a good ten seconds, feverishly trying to come up with any excuse that wouldn't sound embarrassing. She already forgot why she was there and what was the plan. There was no plan, actually. And now she began to repent she better prepared one. Though the circumstances already said it all, and Halstead stopped playing a fool.

Luckily, Kim didn't have to say a word when an opening door broke the dead silence. Adam appeared in front of them two, all sleepy and puzzled in his night out outfit, which he didn't happen to change since the moment he arrived home.

"What's up, man?" He didn't recognize Halstead wasn't alone, it was now hard for him to even imagine that Kim Burgess could easily showed up on his doorstep at her will. But she did. And the moment he noticed her, his heart skipped a beat right away.

"Kim?" His sleepy voice sounded shaky but he immediately recovered from a possible failure. "What's going on?" Adam took this way too serious and the mounting tension overwhelmed his whole.

"Easy, soldier. Crime's calling you out on the streets. Are you ready to save this city?" Halstead pulled out a sarcastic answer, while entering Ruzek's apartment in order to hurry his buddy up.

"Haha. You're good, shut it already."

"Will be here all week." Jay snapped. Adam put on a frown and switched it to a light smile when he glanced back at Kim, who was still standing on his doorway.

"Kim, come on in..." He wasn't sure if it was an invitation or a question. He was still confused with her presence in general.

"Burgess will be helping us out this time. Antonio texted. We need extra hands. And you, my friend, need to speed up. We're running out of time already." Halstead uttered quick-wittedly, giving the best reason, why she was standing here, which Kim wouldn't think up by herself. She rushed her a bit of a shocked look at Jay and gasped. Then she took a step into apartment that was pretty well-known if not the second home for her back in the days and suddenly it felt so natural and right, that she dropped the burden of embarrassment and fear of being rejected at some point.

"Yeah, that's right. They call me the last minute." Kim spoke with emotion, though she knew her response was unnecessary, but she was grateful Jay helped her to get out of embarrassing situation.

Halstead sat down on the arm of the chair and rested his hands on his tights.

"And what about Atwater?" Adam asked, while putting on clean shirt. He was fine with the legend about Kim his partner sold to him.

"He's already in the district." Jay took another call from Antonio, reporting the situation, and Adam raised his eyebrows in respond. He was surprised, how Atwater manage to work in intelligence and be a party animal at the same time. Hangovers were always pretty hard to handle, but not for Kevin. Adam swore under his breath, while having hard time with buttons on his shirt, but finally he was ready to go.

"Shall we?" Jay stood up and headed to the door.

"I think I'll meet you both at the scene." Kim said unexpectedly, lowering her head and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Adam gazed at her with a question mark in his eyes, he could totally feel that Kim was still uncomfortable staying with them through the way to district and he could understand why — he made peace with situation, where Kim is tending to avoid his ex-finance at any costs, especially after she screwed Sean Roman, so he didn't respond anything, just gave a silent nod and led her to the exit.

"Right." Halstead patted Ruzek on the shoulder. "Gear up!"

Despite his command Adam stayed for a couple of seconds to take another concern look at Kim.

"Everything's fine?" He asked quietly, the same question he kept asking over and over again every time he saw Kim, maybe because it was the only way they could interact, but mainly because he still cared about her no matter what she did and what he heard in the court room that day. It was an obvious and complete disaster. He felt like his whole world fell apart, and every time he remembered that day, remembered her painful confession, he died a little inside, but he couldn't live in this trap anymore. Somehow he had to let it all go as much as he was able to do this. They broke up roughly, and the more he was thinking about how he didn't even have a chance to stand up for himself, to sort things out or to get some closure and reasons why Kim 'let him off', the more he was trying to push these thoughts away and leave them in the past. Though he couldn't help but worried any time Kim started acting weirdly. Like if he was always in charge and ridiculously willing to help.

Burgess answered straight after with a forced smile on her face, actively nodding.

"I need to grab some stuff..." Another doubtful excuse and she left his building in a rush before something wrong happened.

The moment Kim ran outside, she took some deep breaths so she could calm down a little bit, but blood was boiling in her veins and adrenaline kept rushing inside her whole body. She thought about how stupid and thoughtless she was coming here and expecting everything to get stable, like it used to, or at least less awkward. It certainly wasn't that simple, and if she wanted to fix things, she should do that in more acceptable situation, probably in daytime and probably asked Adam about a conversation before starting one. Now she wasn't even sure if he needed this conversation in the first place. The way he looked, when she saw him in the doorstep, gave her a strong hint — Adam were out tonight, maybe not alone — anyway, he was moving on and after all the times she avoided his company or his attempts to talk, she couldn't ask for the easiest scenarios. This is not a drill, well said — this is life. And life she got was pretty much the result of her hasty decisions and she surely knew that.

Halstead buckled up and drove off as soon as he and Ruzek got in the truck. They were both silent until Adam began to speak.

"Is there's something I don't know?" He uttered with a purest curiosity in his voice, then fidgeted in his seat and turned to his partner who he considered more as a friend at this moment and expected nothing but truth.

Halstead frowned a bit in confusion instead of giving answers as he was not sure what Adam was talking about.

"Kim, man. What has she told you?"

Adam thought there was something hidden from him, that constant feeling of being a fool got somewhat paranoid.

Jay was focused on the road and all he could think about right now was work and that psycho they have been chasing for a good week. There were no room for dealing with drama.

That's why he responded with a pause, or at least he tried, but Adam impatiently interrupted him before he said something.

"I don't want to seem like a maniac here, I'm pretty tired of myself, too. God it's fucking exhausting! But I need people to be honest with me!" Adam almost ran out of air by the time he finished talking, and now he was trying to calm down a little, knowing he sounded irrelevantly overdramatic.

Jay immediately took a look at Adam with his raised eyebrow. Surprised was not the exact word, but he sure wasn't expecting that reaction from Ruzek.

"Dude, you need to cool down and to concentrate on more important things now." Adam nodded quietly, completely understanding, and lowered his head already regretting the idea of yelling at his friend.

"And no, she hasn't say anything to me. Actually, I was surprised to see her at your building this late. Thought there was something going on between you two. Apparently not. And I suggest you to loosen the tie and to forget about it, at least for a while. How does this sound?"

"Good." Adam said softly still not looking at Jay. He was insecure and he hated to show his weak side in front of people, especially when they knew the background of his story. It was also still humiliating and he couldn't get rid of this sense, even though friends and coworkers didn't pity him. But now he knew Jay was right, he knew it was stupid and childish to get mad, so he came to himself again and shut all the nonsense.

"Good." Jay replied and gave a short staring look, making sure Adam really meant it, and after that return his eyes to the road. 'Now grab a gum. The only problem we have right now is your breath.'

Adam little cheered up and pulled a half-smile while searching for a gum in Halstead's car.

"You're a man of surprises, my friend. Never thought of you as a funny one. Turned out I was wrong."

"You underestimated me? That's harsh. But I think I can live with that." Jay answered sarcastically and showed his branded flawless smile.

When they finally headed to the district, Antonio and the rest of the team were already outside and getting ready for the ride.

"You're late." Dawson said strictly and examined Ruzek with a serious look.

"Sorry, boss." Adam got himself together and put on a vest that Antonio tossed to him.

"I need you to be available all the time, Ruzek, so no switched off phones."

"Discharged..." He mumbled but recovered immediately without a complaint. 'Yes, sir. Understood.'

Kim was also there. Adam saw her when she was getting into a car with Atwater, but the next moment shook his head in order to rid off any thoughts that didn't relate to the case.

Since Antonio took Voight's place, things got more circumspectly. He always wanted to play clean and careful, and after a long term command of a person like Voight, everyone was getting used to it, especially Adam, who was always slightly intemperate in his operations.

Arriving at the place, Antonio gave the order to remain seated until the suspect got out of the building. Quentin Ludgate was listed as an employee of the diner called Patty's and were about to close the shift, unaware that his days of freedom are numbered. The street began to lighten by the dawn when the last visitors left the diner, but the suspect still lingered, seemed like he knew about the ambush and was now looking for ways to escape unnoticed. Adam watched the door, seeking for any signs of movement, while Olinsky, who was sitting beside him at the wheel, was already nodding off. The old man looked pretty exhausted, which led Adam into confusion when he turned to him. He switched the radio on purpose to wake Olinsky.

"Hey, Al, what's up? I had the most drunken night for the last few months, but I am still standing. What's your excuse?"

Olinsky lazily moved his eyes and sighed, not wanting to spin this conversation. 'It seems like we stuck here forever. Why not just go in there and get him with out bare hands, if there's still a chance!' Adam said after a moment of silence and impatiently jiggled his leg.

"You heard Antonio. No movements, until the guy show up himself."

"Come on. He is more likely to burn the whole neighborhood than to be caught!" Ruzek fervently replied and fixed his eyes towards the diner again.

"This is a command, son."

But Adam needed to do something. He couldn't just sit here and wait for another failure. They've been working too hard to blow this opportunity, so the moment Alvin uttered the last word, he decisively opened the door and headed straight to the diner building, placing his hand on the gun.

"Ruzek!" Olinsky shouted, but it was too late, Adam couldn't hear anything over the tension and excitement that was boiling up in his chest.

"The hell is he doing?!" Dawson wasn't pleased of this behavior either, yelling into his police radio, he stepped outside of the car and pulled a gun, following Ruzek's steps.

When Adam entered the diner, the room was silent and dark. The lights went off. After a few seconds he heard a noise and immediately ran to check, pointing his gun before him.

"Chicago P.D! Put your hands up!" Although he couldn't quite see the man, he was absolutely sure of what he was doing. "It's all under control. I get him!" However, Antonio was not. He ran towards the building with his pointed gun as well, but didn't make it inside, when heard several shots. Adam fell down on the floor with a bullet in his upper chest and moaned of pain. The suspect sipped into the back room right away and left the officer bleed. Antonio finally stormed inside and ran to Ruzek with a shout.

"You're fucking idiot. What have I told you?!" But Adam didn't respond. His breath was already getting weaker and his heartbeat was slowing down.

"Catch him from the back room! And we need an ambulance here!" Antonio roared into his radio and seconds later the rest of team appeared in the diner. Halstead and Atwater promptly performed the order, heading to the other side of the building, while Lindsay came down to the floor and squeezed Adam's wound, trying to stop it bleeding. Burgess was the last to walk in, she froze at the bar near the entrance and rounded her eyes with a pure fear in them. She was shocked, the picture of Adam laying with a hole in his chest burned her to the core, she immediately felt like she was shot, too, so that she couldn't move a bit, when Erin called her out for help.

"Burgess! I need you to think clear!" Lindsay tried again. Her shaky hands were already covered in blood and she was barely holding it together as well. "Burgess!" Kim blinked nervously and came down on earth after all, lunging to the floor. She knelt down, trying to look at passed out Adam straight and free herself of panic. But the more she tried, the more her body shivered, and finally the fear of losing Adam any minute overwhelmed her whole.

The bullet came in just above the vest near his collarbone. Antonio strived to remove the vest for better access, but it wouldn't make any better, so they just waited for the ambulance, while trying to keep Adam in this world and continued talking with him.

"Adam, darling, please, please... Stay with me."

Kim took his hand and squeezed it softly, then pressed her lips to his fingers and shut her eyes in prayers. She left behind all her doubts and second-guessings at once. She forgot everything that gone wrong between them somewhere in the past. It didn't matter anymore, it didn't cost a thing, all she truly wanted — to see his eyes once again.

The ambulance arrived in five or seven minutes, but for Kim it was almost an eternity. Paramedics carefully carried him on a stretcher and drove away to the Med. The moment she stood there, in the middle of the street, she knew exactly where she wanted to be and she already regretted she didn't say a word to be next to him and hold his hand.

"He will be fine." Erin came up quietly and gently touched Kim's shoulder. "He'll make it. You know it." Her voice shook a little, and Kim just burst into tears, feeling nothing but powerless. She lost it completely.


End file.
